10 years, 30 products published (not including merchandising), dozens and dozens of new creators getting their work published for the very first time through Futurius; I gave it a good fair run but now is the time to accept defeat and move on. I will still be putting out books including the Concept Core line, though they will no longer carry the Futurius logo on the covers. I’d also like to say that Fut, the company mascot, will still be appearing from time to time in Concept Core and other books too, along with his buddies the Timebots and all their friends.

A sincere THANK YOU to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who spent money on Futurius over the last ten years! Every sale has been a genuine giddy thrill to receive for me and I thank you warmly for your time, attention and enthusiasm!!

I don’t even know if anyone’s reading this but if you are, please join me – don’t worry, you won’t have to post anything! – in raising an imaginary glass to Futurius, a wonderful little company full of life and energy that sadly couldn’t make it into its second decade. 10 years is a fantastic amount of time for it to’ve kept going though. I’m proud of the company!

I love you, Futurius. You’ve been the dominant force in my life throughout the last ten years and closing you is closing a part of myself. I’m deeply going to miss you.

- DANN
NEW CYBER-HOME: http://planetdann.tumblr.com – FOR NEW ART AND COMIC PROJECTS FROM ME!

Fut's Goodbye from the final issue of Tales From The Plex

]]> http://futurius.com/2012/futurius-end/feed/ 4 http://futurius.com/2012/dann-on-tumblr/ http://futurius.com/2012/dann-on-tumblr/#comments Sat, 07 Jan 2012 04:20:41 +0000 Dann http://futurius.com/?p=1821 As previosuly mentioned, Futurius.Com will be shutting down this year when it comes up for renewal. That’ll be the end of Futurius as a company but I’ll still be putting stuff out without a studio/publisher name.

I’m now on Tumblr at PlanetDann.tumblr.com posting art pages regularly. Please, if you’re on Tumblr yourself, follow me or add me to your friends list or whatever. I’m new to Tumblr and still figuring which way up it goes, but it seems pretty good so far. I tried starting one last year but Dann.Tumblr was taken. Got the “Planet Dann” title from Saints Row The Third’s “Planet Saints” stores. Been playing that thing WAY too much lately!

I’m still sad to lose my beloved Futurius but trying to think of it not as losing a company but gaining a planet.

Speaking of Twitter, I changed my username on there to King_Dann. I’m now focusing more on myself as an Artist than on Futurius as a company/studio. What’s likely to happen is that next year when the site comes up for renewal I might just let it slide and close the website down. Futurius has been struggling for a loooooooooong time now and while the viewership has been building the last few months, it unfortunately hasn’t resulted in higher sales of books. (BOOKS CURRENTLY AVAILABLE HERE!)

Due to this I’ve decided that, as much as it saddens me, Futurius as a comic company/studio is on its way out. The Fut has been with me the majority of my adult life. I started it up officially in 2002 and have kept it going through the dark times and the… well, the slightly-less dark times ever since. Closing it down feels like a major defeat for my ego. But if you want to have your dreams come true in this life you gotta make sacrifices. This one’s painful but it’s been obvious since Day One that people had a problem with the Futurius brand. I think it just sounds too foreign for English-speaking markets. I tried focusing on a more global style for a while but the audience just isn’t there for it.

I will still be putting books out on a casually-regular basis (still around 6 months between books) but for the first time they’ll be coming out without a studio label on them. Don’t know if that’ll help sales but to be honest it can’t do much harm.

I’ll focus more on my art from now on and post more on the DeviantArt account. My stuff might take on a looser narrative from hereon out. Stories may become a bit more surreal and hyperactive. Fut and the Timebots will still be featured in stories so there’ll still be a “Futurius” around in my stuff… the company was named after the character anyway, so it’s fitting the character outlives the company.

This site will still be around and fully functional for a good few months still. I think the renewal will come up around March next year. Until then it’ll be mostly business (or lack thereof!) as usual. It’s ironic actually; I knew the world was supposed to end in 2012. I just didn’t realise it was MY world.

Time to imagine a better world, I suppose.

Once again I’m reviewing these gawd-awful things. I’d blame the government but really it’s me choosing to get angry again.

(then again you could say that about anything government-related)

Slightly different this time though since I’ll be updating this live, as I read issues. Keep checking back for updates throughout the day!

SUPERMAN #1 – I hate you, Nu-Superman. You suck. You’re a pissed off weirdo, you’re creepy with your cape-and-yokel-gear outfit in one book and your big rubbery gimp suit in the other. You have awful hair and you’re not very nice. What have they done to you, Clark…?

“Superman” is now returning to the crappy TV anchor days of the 1970‘s. Lois is a complete sell-out who works for Morgan Edge. Clark’s this REALLY outdated weirdo obsessed with print and old-fashioned values. I thought they were trying to modernize the whole concept, not degrade it back to an even more-outdated point?

Even the story in this issue is outdated with a “fire monster” showing up, getting killed by Supes as he takes it into space after wrasslin‘ it like they do in t‘olden days. This is filler material, reminiscent of Chuck Austen’s run back in 2004. Every year DC and Warner find new ways to turn me off Superman more and more. Mission accomplished, folks!

The 80’s comic fans who usually say they hate Superman will love this though. It’s George Perez! Who cares if it fucks Superman up! “Man of Tomorrow”, my arse.

AQUAMAN #1 – Aquaman is a laughing stock. People make fun of him. He goes to a restaurant and orders fish and chips. Some asshole – WITH A BLOG! Yeah, he’s totally meant to be you, blog-face! – is a total prick to Aquaman, who’s just mindin’ his bidnezz, tryna’ get his fish n’ chips on. After throwing a wobbly he decideds to never go back to Atlantis. Dunno why. Then Pirahna’s from that movie “Pirahna” show up and eat people. To be continued…!

I think of Aquaman as the king of the world. He’s king of the oceans. Earth – despite the ironic name we give it – is a water world. Therefore, Aquaman is the king of Earth. He should be the one dealing with Darkseid and alien threats and all sorts of otherworldly mayhem. Instead they have him going to a restaurant and being made fun of by bloggers.

Also, it’s starting to become VERY apparent Geoff Johns has parental issues.

TEEN TITANS #1 – Kid Flash, a new superhero who seems more like the Young Justice cartoon’s Wally West than Bart Allen, shows up to a blazing inferno to get in everyone’s way–err, to help. Naturally it goes tits up. We find out this Kid Flash has no ties to The (adult) Flash.

We then see Tim Drake in what looks like a basement dungeon in Lexcorp Tower, but with all sorts of tech and monitor screens in it. He makes his way to Wonder Girl, they fight a helicopter, Wonder Girl’s cool… then we get a redo of the final 2 pages of Superboy #1 as Supes Jnr makes his debut in the book on the final page.

Overall not very enticing at all, though I do like this version of Wonder Girl. She’s a bit more rowdy and less annoying than the old version, at least so far. But she doesn’t like being called “Wonder Girl”. Hurr.

DC’s freaking weird right now. They’re doing everything they can not to give specific details about ANYTHING inside the books. I don’t know if Wonder Girl is related to Wonder Woman at all, who or what this version of Superboy is, what Tim Drake’s relationship to Batman is right now, who Kid Flash is, whether Aquaman and Mera are married, how old the Justice League members are in the JL books OR in their own titles, whether Lois Lane knows Clark Kent is Superman… these are very basic details that we should be getting in the first issues. Instead everything’s too vague, too wishywashy. I’m kinda getting the feeling DC’s whole plan right now is to put out continual filler content with no long-term planning from the creative teams. Sure, the “stories” are stretched out, but there’s no sense of definition with the characters and their mythologies, something that’s been lacking at DC for years now.

THE FLASH #1 – WOW. I LOVED this! The complete opposite of Superman #1. It felt like an old-school adventure but loaded with modern detail. That really made it fun to read!

Barry Allen is awesome. For those of us who got into The Flash around the time of the live action 90’s TV show, this book is going to feel veeeery familiar. There’s no Julio the lab assistant unfortunately but what is here is awesome as a status quo set-up! Barry’s very likeable and open, largely due to the excellent artwork here that gives an innocence to his face that‘s quite endearing, and Iris shows up in typical snoopy reporter-mode. She’s not in here much but she definitely makes an impression and came off really likeable too!

I’m digging everything in this book except the last page, which made me sad to see the issue end. That’s a good sign. This is the best book to come out of the reboot in my opinion! You get the little intro blurb telling you what the hero’s about, the set-up of his status quo AND an interesting story about Barry’s old friend who has a sinister secret…

The biggest worry I had about this series was that it’d be too retro and 50’s-ish and while there’s a definite retro vibe going on, it’s thankfully not overdone. This is firmly set in modern times and is easily the one book from DC’s revamp that I’ll be excited about from hereon out!

GREEN LANTERN: NEW GUARDIANS #1 – Shock! This book was actually… good… ish,… too!

It starts off retelling Kyle Rayner’s origin and it’s the same as before, pretty much. Glad they didn’t screw with that. It then skips to the modern day with Kyle as one of Earth’s Green Lanterns. He gets some flak from a kid who thinks his costume’s stupid – which it is – and a bunch of multicoloured power rings leave their owners all over the universe and fly straight to him. The full spectrum of Lanterns arrive to get the rings back along with some revenge. “To be continued…!”

The covers for this series look horrendous but the interior art is actually not too bad. I really wish Kyle could have a better looking costume – I’d be in Heaven if they gave him back his first non-regulation costume, the one he had in the 90’s JLA run. I miss that outfit!

This book’s worth checking out if you’re a GL fan and especially if you’re a Kyle Rayner fan!

Click meh!

Another week, another not-so-RETRO REVIEW! HOO-HAH! Here’s 8 short reviews. When their powers combine they summon CAPTAIN REVIEW! “The self-righteous pomposity IS YOURS!”

RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS #1 – Jason Todd’s got black hair again! Roy Harper’s got his arm back! Starfire’s a sex toy! HOORAY! Wait, what…? Yeah. Starfire is officially a walking, laser-shootin’ blow-up doll. Sure, she’s always had that vibe about her but here she’s already hooked up with both guys in a no-strings-attached (hee! “No strings attached”! Roy’s bow has stri–ah, forget it) sorta way and apparently doesn’t remember Nightwing, the Titans or anything past bright shiny things if Red Hood’s dialogue about her is to be believed. She can’t even tell humans apart, which I actually quite like as an idea, but I’m fully expecting the internet elite to be up in arms about Kori’s new “I’ll shag anything” approach to meeting and greeting.

This is absolutely THE best-drawn book DC’s putting out lately. The art’s FANTASTIC and the colouring’s splendiferous! The “team” spend most of the issue hanging out on a beach and it’s a breath of fresh air seeing all those pretty sunshiny colours in a US comic book for the first time in gawd knows how long! Well done on the art side!

Writing-wise… it’s Scott Lobdell. The guy’s got good interesting ideas but he’s not exactly the world’s most professional-standard-bearing comic writer. He sets the artist up with enough for the book to be gorgeous to look at, and that’s more than we could hope for here. Overall the book’s easy-going but beautiful (like Starfire! Amirite? Ehh??) and to be honest with ya this’ll easily be something I’d pick up the next issue of, which is a miracle in itself with DC’s “New 52” line.

Giggity-giggity-goo!

BATMAN & ROBIN #1- This came out a week ago but I missed it at the time. Having caught up I gotta say I really liked that Batman’s giving up on the whole brooding thing a tad. His final visit to the soon-to-be-bulldozed Crime Alley would almost be touching if not for a certain little dickwad in a black and yellow cape. Damien is building himself up to one helluva “yay, he’s dead!” moment when they finally have him kick the bucket (my money’s on this happening in Morrison’s upcoming run after or during Leviathan) and little D adds nothing to the issue but disrespect and douchery. Kick him, Batman! KICK HIM HARD!

I also like the new villain’s headgear. Reminds me of Raptor from Psyche.

SUPERGIRL #1 – Oooooooh. On the first page they refer to a “Kansas event” while a meteor shower hits nearby. Does this mean Nu-Superman’s arrival on Earth was shielded in a meteor shower just like the Smallville tv show? Hmmmmmm.

Okay, the plot: Supergirl lands on Earth and fights guys in robot suits ‘til Superman shows up. THE END! I think it’s criminal how they’re charging $2.99 for 20 or so pages of non-story. There’s really nothing to this book; $3 for five minutes of reading?! I mean, sure you can read it again, but there’s so little story to it that there’s not much point! Supergirl crashes on Earth and Superman shows up. That’s REALLY all you’re getting here. Save your money and go read the silver age Supergirl origin instead since it’s the same thing except this version of Kara is slightly moodier and in ugly armour.

Guuuuuuurgle...

Aside from that though, the art was nice and the writing was better than some of the other books DC’s doing for the relaunch. Kara thinks she’s dreaming until the robot suit guys grab her, there’s a mention of Zod and of her parents… she’s also back to not remembering why she’s not on Krypton, similar to the old DCU’s Kara when she first showed up a few years back. Hope we don’t get a rerun of that abysmal “I’m here to kill Superman!” crap. She also seems older than the previous S-girl as in her later teens maybe? Could be an interesting move, that.

The big let down here is the costume. It’s butt-ugly. If they’d given her a better looking outfit I’d be down with this version despite the lack of events written into this issue. Get this girl a mini-skirt and a less Nazi-ish cape and teach her English! Or cooler yet, give her a wacky accent as she learns Earthan languages.

Oh, and she could also do with a better haircut…

MISTER TERRIFIC #1 – Mister Terrific travels around London on his magic techno-balls, inner-monologueing about how he has to buy the new Doctor Who boxset. If that doesn’t warm you to the guy, NOTHING WILL! I really wanted to dislike this book. I’d read a review or two about it and they put it down something nasty, and for some bizarre reason they’ve taken Mr T’s really cool costume and made it look like a ballet dancer’s tights. But this was actually a well-done book, especially for a first issue! You’ve got the basic origin retelling, Terrific having a super-battle, Power Girl showing up as a potential love interest (albeit sans the “Power Girl” moniker and uniform. Not sure if she has powers in this version) and even the set up of a really cool Batcave-style fortress. Yay fortresses!

The art’s rather groovy and the writing’s hip and relatable. I wouldn’t add this to a buy pile quite yet but I’d certainly check out a second issue. Oh, just one thing though? Why do the London crowd look like rejects from a 1960′s B-movie? London people – and modern people in general – don’t look like that. Weeeeeeird.

You had me at Doctor Who...

STORMWATCH #1- Whizzed through this. The art’s pretty awful. Why DC’s hiring dodgy amateur artists when there’s so many uber-talented people out there I‘ll never know. Seriously, check out Deviantart if you don’t already! There’s some INSANELY skilled DC fans on that site!

Aside from that the moon’s got claws, Martian Manhunter’s a member of the ‘Watch and Apollo doesn’t have a costume yet. Blurg. The art’s too off-putting to get me trying the second issue. Shame that as I quite liked the idea of an angry moon. Imagine how mental the werewolves would be!

JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #1 – This issue made me actually think Booster Gold is cool. WHOA. It’s standard 90’s-style team superheroing but it’s not that bad. There’s potential here. Really nice seeing a kinder, gentler Batman too!

LEGION OF SUPERHEROES #1 – Much like last week’s review of Legion Lost, this one’s a total mess. The issue that is, not the review. Err…

The basic concept of the Legion is they’re super powered teenagers in the future, inspired by a teenaged Superman to take to the skies as a beacon of hope and awesomeness for all. IN THE FUTURE.

This comic is about a group of adults with ties to Earth’s political groups, finishing up what went on before. Y’know, in the last issue? Except this is issue #1… of a REBOOT. When they restarted their entire universe in the 1980’s after Crisis On Infinite Earths, DC Comics left a few threads dangling such as Kid Flash having grown up to become the Flash, Batman’s sidekick being an adult in his own right, Wonder Woman sort-of having ties to Wonder Girl and other such timeline-buggering confustications that eventually had to be resolved “once and for all!” several times including the Zero Hour miniseries, the soft reboot of the mid-2000’s and now with this whole Flashpoint nonsense that unfortunately STILL hasn’t cleared everything up. Hell, it’s not cleared ANYTHING up. It’s just digging itself deeper and deeper into a well of mediocrity and uncertainty. When you pick up a comic and you’re either a new reader or a long-term fan yet you STILL can’t figure out not only what’s going on but also who exactly the main character is in this rendition, eventually you’re gonna get bored being strung along on nothing and you’re gonna leave. This is what’s happening to DC Comics right now, and this is exactly what’s going on with Legion Of Superheroes.

It’s a 1970’s throwback comic about an outdated “future” team of disco-era super-people whinging and mourning the deaths of their old relationships. It’s baffling, it’s boring and it’s a real shame this concept isn’t being properly handled. Get Grant Morrison and a really hot artist on this (bring back Olivier Coipel damn you, DC!!) and watch in shock as people start giving a shit about the Legion again…

MODERN-DAY XENA–URR, WONDER WOMAN #1 – I saw a Batman documentary recently on youtube with writer Brian Azzarello in it. He actually seemed like a really nice, cuddly kinda guy! Shame that never shows up in his writing, because everything I’ve read of his was fricking God-awful. This was the best thing I’ve ever read of his. It was very meh.

Xena is helping some really short woman fight Narnia bad guys in her farm house because an Avatar smurf guy gave her a teleporting key. A horse gets its head chopped off and a black dude – like, SUPER black! With orange glowing eyes, like! – throws a bunch of tarts off a skyscraper. As you do.

Seriously, tell me that's not an Avatar!

Anything positive I can say here? Well… it made more sense than For Tomorrow. Which isn’t really saying much. And I liked the little credits box on the final page. Nice design work there! So it’s got that going for it…

There’s other books to read this week but I can’t flippin’ deal with ‘em. This re-whatever’s completely lost me. How is it that out of a modern supposedly-epic relaunching of DC’s stable of characters, the best things to come from it are Deathstroke, a Scott Lobdell book and the fact that Batman’s slightly nicer?!? WHAT HAPPENED THERE, DC??

I’m intensely grateful right now that I have my own comic company to read books from. I suggest you make your own comics too and read those since DC’s obviously lost the plot. Unfortunately for them they’ll also be losing a hell of a lot of readers too with this rubbish. $3 a book for what’s effectively a “Hi my name’s — TO BE CONTINUED!” is a disgrace. I never thought a younger, single Superman written by Grant Freakin’ Morrison could disappoint me but there ya go! I never thought I’d actually point at a Deathstroke The Terminator comic and go “that’s the best thing out there right now!”. And I certainly never expected to feel a gush of relief when seeing a group of superheroes sitting on a beach drinking umbrella-dipped cocktails!

SO, CONCLUSION?: Fuck. This. SHIT!

I doubt I’m gonna review next week’s books. I might review the Superman and Flash ones if I’ve got anything to say on ‘em, but overall I’m pretty turned off by this whole semi-reboot. DC haven’t gone far enough with this and it’s a genuine shame. It would’ve been great to see a modern teenaged Dick Grayson, Wally West, Donna Troy etc forming the Teen Titans, or to witness the Legion Of Superheroes starting over properly. I know there’s an origin series coming out for them but that looks dull as hell. Ah well. It’s only comics.

For my review of Action Comics #1 from a few weeks back click HERE.
For the bunch o’ books I reviewed last week click HERE.

This week I’m reviewing a big ol’ bunch of comics from DC for their relaunch event. I’ll be doing quick blurbs on a group of titles and trying to keep it relatively short this time. For my review of Action Comics #1 from last week (or was it the week before…?) click HERE.

Here we go. SPOILERS AHOY!:

SUPERBOY #1 - First up, something sort-of positive. This issue was actually waaaay better than I thought it would be! I don’t like the direction they’re taking Superboy in but I did like – very much so! – the way writer Scott “LOL” Lobdell focused on the alien vibe of the character, the way he experiences consciousness through his entire body and how his mind’s on a totally different level. I dug that. The art was pretty dull but okay in places. Sadly Superboy doesn’t look like he’s gonna be as much fun as he was in the 90’s (before Geoff Johns turned him into a brooding steroid-freak jock with the charisma of an unflushed toilet) but hey, there’s definite potential.

GREEN LANTERN #1 - I haven’t properly read Green Lantern since Kyle Rayner was in his original costume and a member of Grant Morrison’s JLA, but I have kept up with the general major stuff going on in GL. That said if I were coming to this purely from this summer’s movie, I’d be lost here. One of the alien guys from the movie is hated by everyone else and he’s being allowed back into the team because apparently he was away, but everyone’s calling him a psycho. Hal Jordan (the Ryan Reynolds guy) is on Earth but he’s not Green Lantern – did he quit being a superhero at the end of the movie or something? – and he’s not doing too well with his girlfriend, who wants to marry him and keeps talking about a sapphire ring of some sort. Then Ryan Reynolds gets kicked out of his home and the purple guy shows up all angry n’ shit. DA END!

That’s how a newbie to comics would see this issue. Baffling is a good word for what this is.

SUICIDE SQUAD #1 - The Saw movies by way of a gay pride rally. Torture porn meets people in silly costumes. Basically there’s bad guys. They get tortured. The end. And Amanda Waller is thin, you sizist bastards!

SWAMP THING #1 - This was probably the best thing so far out of NuDC, a well-written book about a dude who used to be made of seaweed. Not really my kinda thing but it was well done and the penciller, Yanick Paquette, was better here than he’s ever been, heavily channelling Bryan Hitch. Really liked the informative-ness of the writing. Feel like I actually learned something from this, which is the first time I’ve gotten that from a DC comic in YEEEEEAARS.

DEMON KNIGHTS #1 - Huh. The Demon was a Jack Kirby creation. Who knew.

There’s no Billy Zane in this. Like, AT ALL. I feel jipped! It does have King Arthur’s dead feet cameoing in the first couple pages, a bit of meta-textual confustication from Merlin and an exploding zombie baby… thing. So yeah. That’s cool…

Aside from that, this thing’s a mess. I don’t know the majority of these characters or what they’re about, even after reading the issue. Seems like it’s just a “weird shit for the sake of it” type of thing. Nice art though.

LEGION LOST #1 - The Legion Of Superheroes are the coolest super team ever because they’re teenagers in the future having fun adventures. Here, they’re not teenagers (I think. Hard to tell…) and they’re in the present, being boring. Boo-urns!

They do get points for Dawnstar’s cleavage though. That’s always been a high point of the Legion.

DEATHSTROKE #1 - Amazingly, this does do a really good job of letting you know what Deathstroke’s about, right from the first page! Well done, creative team! The book’s about a super powered badass mercenary. He kills people. For money. And in this we get AN ENTIRE FREAKING ADVENTURE! I shit thee not, an entire story with a beginning, middle and end, ALL IN ONE ISSUE! Wow. I take back what I said about Swamp Thing, THIS is the best of the bunch! Never thought I’d say that about a Deathstroke The Terminator comic. It’s even got some likeable side characters in it! Good on ya, Kyle Higgins and Joe Bennett! Some nice colours too by Jason Wright.

BATGIRL #1 - Some wonky art that provides some actually-nice panels here or there that remind me of Joel Schumaker Batman movies (hey, screw you, Batman Forever was good for its time!) but I’m really not getting the fuss over Gail Simone’s writing. I’ve read some stuff of hers before but never really dug it, and this issue has quite a few WTF lines of dialogue, such as Batgirl calling criminals “babies” like some creepy cat lady. Glad it’s the iconic Batgirl back in action though. Hope she gets some good, non-crapifying things to do over the next few years!

Well, that’s it for now, though I missed a few this week. Might review those next time, including the Batman & Robin book which I’m mildly interested in seeing. Really not feeling the rebooted line though you guys. This whole thing feels like a wasted opportunity that’s fluffed itself straight out the gate.

SO, CONCLUSION?: Yeah… comics are screwed. Owch.

The problem here is that this so-called “big push” to get new readers is actually aimed at long-term DC fans who are already up to date with these characters and maybe haven’t read the ongoing books in a few months. Not exactly the greatest push there’s ever been, DC.

Non-comics fans will have a slightly hard time just figuring out which way to read the pages of these things, let alone decipher who’s who and what they’re about. These aren’t really jumping-on points for all-new readers. They’re jumping-BACK points for people who own those DC-based encyclopaedia books. Someone at DC REALLY needs to get out into the real world and mix with actual people, because it’s obvious they don’t get non-comic-readers at all. Real shame, that.

“Snff. Rats. Rats with money. And rats with guns. I’m your worst nightmare.”

And with that we enter a new age of Superman. God help us all.

Action Comics #1 is the Grant Morrison-lead reboot of Warner Brothers/DC Comics’ classic adventurer Superman. It came out today (as of writing. HELLO FUTURE PEOPLE READING THIS IN THE FUTURES!! *waves*) and it’s got Superman looking like a steroid-snorting goober in jeans with a bath towel down the back of his T-shirt.

The overall idea here seems to be Superman as a Golem-esque version of Paul Bunyan, a fakelore character (kinda like the Blair Witch or human decency) who batters the rich so the good people (I.e; the poor) can feel better about themselves as they rob your ass on a Friday night. Being a poor person meself I get what they’re going for here but I can’t help be disheartened to find Superman’s compassion and wisdom completely missing in this opening chapter. Instead it’s replaced by MSN “News” style “Grr! Fatcats!” pandering. Yay?

Joining “Howlin’ Mad” Morrison in his revision of Krypton’s best export is penciller Rags Morales of DC’s Identity Crisis infamy. I’ve never been a fan of Rags and feel his stuff’s pretty dang outdated and dry. His style’s a mixture of Phil Jimenez and Tom Grummet to me, and while I was a big fan of Grummet back in the day, it just doesn’t work for me when combined with Brad Anderson’s overdone (but still very good!) colouring job. Modern art in DC and Marvel comics does seem to be overdone on the colouring side of things these days, and I feel it takes away from the fun. Tame that colouring down and the inked artwork (provided, again, in an overdone and overly-black way by Rick Bryant) will have a chance to shine better.

As I read this I compared it not just to the old comics – DC’s stuff up until last month was all set in a long-running shared universe where characters like Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman all met regularly and had adventures. With this new version they’re resetting things to an earlier time when the characters don’t know each other, at least in this comic series and last week’s Justice League title – but also to movies and video games. I think it’s time American superhero comic books raised their expectations and started putting out entertainment that’s as good as those mediums or better. In fairness though, I’m also looking at this book as though it’s a brand new comic series and not a replacement for a previous run. I think with something like this, you NEED to acknowledge it’s a cultural icon in the title and can’t just ignore peoples’ perceptions of the character going in, so I won’t pretend it’s a new character. Did this first issue of Action Comics come over as being as exciting or emotional as a good movie or game?

No. No, it did not unfortunately.

I’ve been a big fan of Grant Morrison since his days on Justice League in the 90’s but the guy seems to’ve lost something from his writing. There used to be about 50 amazing ideas in his book each issue that would show themselves through dialogue, narration or art yet were totally throwaway. The guy’s stuff crackled with energy the likes of which were blowing the readers’ mind every time you turned a page. In the last few years however he seems to have taken a knock, creative-wise. The awe is gone, replaced with a cruel cynicism that really takes the fun out of books like this. Lex Luthor shows up as a military consultant but seems a bit bland so far. It’s only the first issue and if this were a movie it’d be the first 20 minutes or so, but Luthor could have had a bit more charisma going. Clark Kent shows up as a Harry Potter lookalike with a busted face (if that doesn’t get Potter-haters reading, I dunno what will!) and is a very proactive young reporter seemingly the same age as Jimmy Olsen. Lois Lane is in the issue too and there’s the standard Superman save but the whole thing is a ground-level social crusader theme where the good guy punches his way through the nasty corporate world. I can’t help thinking this is going to appeal solely to people who can’t even afford these comics on a regular basis. There was a BRILLIANT article I read recently online about comic books and the US national minimum wage that really ties into this version of Superman. Click here to see that but basically it says that from the 1930’s to the present day, the percentage of what it costs to buy a comic from a minimum wage-making reader’s monthly salary has gone up astronomically. It’s not just that the prices have gone up with inflation, it’s that a lot of potential readers actually CANNOT AFFORD COMICS ANYMORE AT THEIR CURRENT PRICES. Not ongoing regular comics that need other comics to be bought/read in order to understand the story, at least. And it seems that that is exactly who this series would most be popular with.

Let’s break down into segments how this book compares to other media and see where it’s strengths and faults lie, shall we?:

MOVIES – Compared to movies, this book, like I said before, would be the first 20 minutes. Not a bad beginning, quite fast-paced too, with a nice cliffhanger that comes through a big action set-piece that would be a VERY exciting movie scene. The character stuff, however, is pretty annoying. We haven’t seen anything through Superman’s eyes yet and he still feels like an aloof character that’s hard to relate to. He’s been in the big city for 6 months and has Jimmy Olsen as his best friend, but aside from that he doesn’t show much character in his scenes AS Clark. It’s all expressed through dialogue about how he’s a small-time reporter doing big stories and inspiring people through his articles, yet you don’t really get a handle on his personality yet. Morrison’s always had a problem with first issues and they’re usually pretty damn awkward and all over the place, so it’s possible things will get much better down the line, but so far Clark as Superman seems outdated already. This version of Supes is allegedly based on Bruce Springsteen and that’s a mental image that really doesn’t work for me. Superman as an arrogant country rocker seems almost like they’re trying to drive readers away. Who is that really going to appeal to? Bruce Springsteen fans? Are there enough of those running around today that they’ll actually be inspired to read comics?

Aside from that the action’s good for a movie-style thing, with a tank fight outside a crumbling building and a big speeding train scene, as well as the after-effects of Superman throwing some rich people goons through walls and sticking them on chandeliers. So compared to movies? It’s… good. Action-wise. Not so good getting-us-to-like-the-characters-wise.

VIDEO GAMES – I honestly don’t think this is going to appeal to gamers. There’s potential in here but this first issue doesn’t have that draw-you-in factor of a good modern game or film. While it’s fun seeing Superman hanging off a blimp (he can’t fly yet in this story) and witness his fight with tanks and the way ordinary poor people jump in to save him from being shot dead, it’s still not enough to get the average gamer who’s bored by comics to return for a second issue onwards. Mostly fail.

MUSIC – Utter fail. This comic might take 10-15 minutes to read and has mild fun within its pages yet produces NOWHERE NEAR the level of emotion a 3-minute song creates in the listener. People buy entertainment for emotion and imagination. A street-level Superman doesn’t inspire imagination and the issue’s writing and art barley inspired any emotion beyond “ooh, tanks!”.

NOVELS – Probably the medium this issue stands up again best. As far as a beginning chapter, it at least gets you warmed up with a brief intro to a character doing action stuff with the reactions of those chasing and being saved by him. If it were a novel it might even have more of an emotional punch to it by the cliffhanger scene. SUCCESS!

OLD COMICS – There’s two levels to this. We can look at the MUCH older comics or we can look at the more recent comics from DC’s newly snuffed-it universe. Compared to the more recent stuff, this is so-so. Comics have been on a downward spiral of misery and depression since the before-mention Identity Crisis, with the characters loosing their lustre and becoming objects of pity and disgust rather than fictional characters you wish you were. While I wholeheartedly agree with the DC revamp I just can’t get into this version of Superman on any level besides as a weird alternate take. I get they’re trying to show him without all the things you expect of him, but to me that’s just taking all the flavour out of your favourite dish and expecting you to love it more. I’m ecstatic he’s not married and middle-aged anymore but boy, was this version lacklustre.

And compared to the really old comics? I read the very first published Superman comic, the original Action Comics #1, and I gotta say… with its dodgy old art and awkward dialogue and embarrassing circus strongman costume? IT STILL CHARMED THE HELL OUT OF ME! They had brilliant humour in that little comic that made me smile 70 years after it came out, as well as genuine moments of “Wow! That was awesome!” that this so-called “modern” comic just didn’t reach. When Superman yanked a door off its hinges in Action Comics #1 from the 1930’s, it produced an impressed awe in me that the 2011 version’s train-stopping, ear-bleeding Superman just didn’t provide.

So what are we to take from all this? Personally, I’ll take that “modern” doesn’t always mean “improved”, even when compared to something from nearly a century ago.

And also that US comics REALLY need to kick themselves up the arse and start expecting more from themselves…

3 CRACKED S-SHIELDS OUT OF 5, AND THAT’S IN PART DUE TO THE ATMOSPHERIC COLOURING!

THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOO!!!

So, we start out on New Earth, which I’m guessing sets the whole thing in the far future, when cats are people, lizards are lower class slaves and Snarfs aren’t able to talk yet. Basically it’s utopia for furries. (Yay!)

Guess which one’s the lady!

Ferris-O’s adopted bro is that cheeky pimp Tygra, who comes across here like a mix of Bradley Cooper and Bradley Cooper’s douchier clone. I always dug Tygra. Seemed like he and Lion-O were vying for main hero status in the old ‘toon and I’m glad they’ve got him front and center here in the remake. He’s a bit of a tool at times but you do get the genuine feeling that he’s doing it just to spur his little bro on to greatness… except for one scene near the end where he steps over the line and does an “everything you do turns to suck” bit. That’s cold, Ty. I thought you were cool! >:(

Aside from that we’ve got Cheetara (typically lacking in charisma), Snarf (thankfully lacking in dialogue) and Jaga (regretfully lacking in clothing… that dude’s like a furry Prof. Farnsworth in the desert! *shudder*). Mumm-Ra makes an appearance in the second episode/half of the premiere (as the bad guy. Typecasting, eh? What can ya do…) and it turns out he’s allergic to sunlight. Maybe he’s a vampire and sparkles when it gets hot outside. Ooh, crossover-potential!

Grr! I look nothing like this in the show!

With Thundercats, the reason I watch the show is a) The Sword Of Omens (which IS present, and is awesome!); b) The Thundertank (not present, though if it shows up before the 5th episode I’ll be happy!); and c) Mumm-Ra doing his crazy buff neon-warlord mode thing, getting his arse kicked then woddling off while screaming “Mumm-Ra will have reveeeeeeenge!”. Now it took a few episodes for all of that to show up in the original ‘toon too, and I get that you can’t just start a reintroduction series with “hey, new fans! Go watch the entire original series to see what’s going on in this first episode!”, but getting to the cool stuff quickly and keeping it there is what new cartoon producers really need to start focusing on. Don’t give us hints of awesomeness. Give us the actual awesomeness and then MOVE FORWARD FROM THERE. We’re living in a very prequel-centric culture right now, where everything is build-up and epectation. A lot of people seem satisfied when we get to that end-point-of-Awesomeness (such as the Superman moments in Smallville), yet it doesn’t really leave us feeling “our” legendary modern myths are of the same long-term value as previous “generations” (granted, I’m 30 years old so I consider both this new version AND the original to be “my” generation). 20 years from now as they look back at what they had in their youth, many kids of today will have to admit the majority of their heroes were just drawn-out remakes of older peoples’ franchises. I mean, yeah, except for Twilight and Harry Potter. Hey, modern kids! You can KEEP those, okay? I’m lettin’ ya have ‘em, I got no use for ‘em!

In ze old country he waz supermodel!

I’m down with remakes, I think they’re awesome. But they need to add to the awesomeness rather than just replaying it out in minute detail. Will the new Thundercats bring the Awesome? Yeah, hopefully. Likely, maybe. It’s a well-done show. The whole production has a bit of an empty French-ness about it (French cartoons disturb me! They’re like an existential void of doom) but it’s a good show and it’s got enough heroic moments in the first 2 episodes to imply it only gets better from here. But here’s hoping they bring in the expected cool stuff early, then move on to brand new unexpected cool stuff! How about a Thunderjet or somesuch?

So what are my other 2 major gripes? Well, firstly the theme tune. The premiere didn’t have a theme tune, which is fair enough, but I’m fully expecting the series-proper to have a lame, He-Man 200x-series-style forgettable song in the opening credits. Now, say I’m jumping the gun here but it does seem like every cartoon these days takes itself waaaaay too seriously in the opening credits department. Opening credits are a MAJOR part of the fun for me; it’s where you get settled into the adventure and attune yourself to each show’s unique flavour. I’d be fine with them using an updated version of the original opening. If it were me, that’s what I’d go with. Don’t know what they’ve got planned for that but if we get a typical orchestral thing without lyrics or memorable bars in the chorus, I have to admit I won’t be surprised.

Unholy trilogy of Annoyance. FEAR THEM!

Aside from all that the show’s good. I don’t have a particularly strong connection to the original (loved the toys though!) so I’m not crying foul here. As long as the storyline doesn’t bog down the fun of the show and as long as it’s not 3 seasons of build-up and then nothing but cancellation, I think we’re in for an awesome bit of furry fury!

In fact, yeah… that’s what we’ll name the Thunderjet. FURRY FURY, HO!

All the Thunderans in da house say “HOOOOOOO”!

Some super-duper-hawt young actresses/models/whatever-they-tell-themselves-they-are are present here, in the occasional foxy outfit no less, but there’s so little characterization going on here that when the death’s do start coming you find yourself cheering them on rather than mourning the loss of vixens such as Jamie Chung and… the rest. I dunno. I got so bored after the first half hour I kind of lost track. There was one point where they switch back to the mental asylum setting and I was like “Holy crap, I totally forgot they were even IN a mental asylum!”… and that’s an IMPORTANT part of the “story”. When you’re forgetting major parts of the movie WHILE YOU’RE STILL WATCHING IT it really says something about how bad a job the creative team’s done.

It’s a real shame too since the first 30 minutes or so had me completely. It starts out quite dull but when the first action sequence happens and you see this Sailor Moon rip-off being kicked through a temple wall by a giant samurai robot, you’re fully up for anything this film throws at you. When she gets up and starts fighting back you’re cheering her on, completely involved in what’s going on and thirsting for more. Unfortunately when this scene ends, the film’s forward momentum also comes crashing down. Even scenes of dragons and zombie nazi’s and Red Skull-like villainy can’t rev you back up again. Zack “You’re Next, Superman!” Snyder has achieved an anti-miracle with this project; He’s shown the world that a movie filled with dragons, ‘teenage’ girls gone wild, explosions, samurai robots, zen bus drivers, prostitution and Jamie Chung (I love you Jamie Chuuuuung!) can still put a geek to sleep from sheer dullness. For SHAME, Zack! For SHAME.

5 OUT OF 5 SAILOR MOON WUB HEARTS FOR THE FIRST BATTLE SEQUENCE. 1 OUT OF 5 FOR THE REST!

Crowning Scene Of Awesomeness:

Additional: Much as it sucked as a whole, I’d've still loved a toyline from this thing.